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My boyfriend left me out of the blue
2020.09.07 12:16 bottrell1 My boyfriend left me out of the blue
Hello everyone I hope your well. It's been about a couple of days now which is why I can write this atm. I have been with my partner for two and a bit years and we have always had a amazing, passionate chemical relationship. I am dating a entp partner and he is absoloutly amazing. I help him understand his emotions and he helps me be a bit more logical. About a couple days ago the day before father's Day he left. I unfortunately have had a bad past with my parents abandoning me at 12. I then went through a few Foster's homes that turned really bad as well. I am still healing my wounds from never having my family and lashed out at him on this day, that I was seeing my father. My partner had something to do so he called the quits and he just left. I know him and anyone else would have a very hard time dealing with my past and the trauma of what it has done. I got back in contact with my parents trying to be mature and to forgive and to stop the emmense pain I felt everyday. I still do as my parents still never contact me and do not care about my current situation. This was after 5 years of them not seeing me. They left me at refuge and didn't come back. I Recently have gone through depression, anxiety, and have been on many pills. This had started when I contacted my parents and never heard back for months. We last spoke other then father's Day last December. Due to the fact they still neglect and treat me as worthless as they called me when I was young. I know this isn't attractive but unfortunately I was to focused on my parents and I didn't realise I was pushing him away. Until it was to late and he was gone. I thought he was understanding of my past but he told me he couldn't handle it. I will always respect his decision as I love him so much. My past is not who I am it's just apart of me. I will always try and grow and heal and not let this define me. He has told me he's not leaving because he doesn't love me, he just doesn't know how to deal with my past, and I need to grow and heal more first. I agree with this but I have recently pulled myself out of the depression as the meds are also working and I believe I can grow with him. I am also scared he will move on. I believe this has been a hard process for him and he is now scared and hurt. Especially due to the fact I wasn't there and I can take full responsibility for that. We still love each other so much and I just am reaching out for advice on wheather you believe this is worth saving as I do, or wheather you believe I should move on. Or even take a few weeks/months break for self growth and try again, or am I just dreaming? And wheather from what you have read if you believe my parents are worth me keeping in my life as bad as they are currently treating me. I have self respect and have mentioned this to my parents multiple times and nothing has changed. I Would really appreciate your time and advice. Thanks
submitted by bottrell1
to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2020.07.11 08:59 Nix-Tempesedo [Positivity rant-thing] I'm really, really proud of my boyfriend
I met my (cisf) boyfriend (ftm) online just over two years ago. This was a couple of months perhaps, before he came out and socially transitioned. We've been close friends for those two years and have recently began to date after realising we've both had feelings for each other for quite some time.
When I met him, he was in a really bad place, I'd sometimes have to talk him out of dark mindsets and comfort him through the things he was going through. (disclaimer: no partner should ever be considered substitute for professional help nor is a partner responsible for 'fixing' their s/o. I was just there as support and encouragement when he needed it) It was hell for him and my heart ached for what he was going through. He was confused, insecure, dysphoric in addition to dealing with other mental health issues resulting from trauma. In the beginning he hated people hearing his voice, he wanted me to tell people he was trans so he didn't have to deal with the change in their expression when they heard it. He didn't like taking pictures, I had one picture of him with his sunglasses on originally, and that took him a year and a half or more to be comfortable sending me. His parents often (and still do) misgender him, his grandfather weaponises his deadname sometimes.
Despite all that, he's come so, so far. His mental health has dramatically improved through the support he's been recieving and his own hard work. Every day I can see him becoming more and more confident in who he is, I get selfies more often now, we voice chat every night, we video chat every now and again. He hangs out over video chat when I'm with my friend group who all adore him and make every effort to validate him, include him despite the distance and make sure he knows he's cared for. It's just so, so wonderful to see him becoming the person he was always ment to be. He's the most kind-hearted, compassionate and loving man I've ever met, he takes joy in the little things, he gets passionate about the things he loves. Every time he sends me something that might seem small to some, like getting a new pair of swimshorts where he before said he wasn't confident enough to go for a beach day or when he sends me another selfie, it shows me just how much his self-confidence is growing and I just get so unbelievably happy for him and so proud of the work he's put in to get to this point. He absoloutely deserves to be happy, confident and at peace within himself, I'm so thrilled others now get to see him and the wonderful person he is, it shines through with his confidence. I'm sure his hopefully starting T early next year will only continue this trend of flourishing.
submitted by Nix-Tempesedo
to mypartneristrans [link] [comments]
2020.02.22 23:01 Nix-Tempesedo What do you do to build yourself back up after being in a toxic friendship?
The title says it all. Had a friend who I cared about very deeply, would be an emotional support, stay up to all hours (differing timezones) when they were upset just to make sure they were okay. Worked hard to help them set proper boundaries for themselves so they could function better. It got too much when I went through some heavy stuff and didn't have all that energy to put into others anymore, their behaviour changed, I could tell. All came to a head when they got a new partner and began to leave me behind, when I expressed a fear of this (having reassured them on countless occasions when they expressed a similar insecurity to me), they gaslit me and guilt tripped me over and over again. I was forced to block them temporarily to get them to stop, and after coming back they continued to guilt trip me by turning it back on me, saying that they were the one who was hurt, they were the one who lost trust, they no longer consider me a friend etc etc. I'm absoloutely devestated as I truly had such a lasting hope that they might actually care (like they claimed they did), that they would want to save this friendship, but I keep getting proven wrong at every turn.
Anyway, how do you yourself up after something like this? Your confidence, your sense of self etc?
submitted by Nix-Tempesedo
to selfimprovement [link] [comments]
2020.01.23 18:56 MetalheadOnReddit Leg Cramp When Riding
(F) Whenever I'm riding my partner or even my dildo. I always get a leg Cramp and I have absoloutely no reason why! Anyone else have this happen to them? And anyone know how to prevent it?
submitted by MetalheadOnReddit
to sex [link] [comments]
2020.01.19 09:13 AussieOz96 WIBTA if I told my Mother I don't won't to visit her any time soon after finding out she is going to a Concert without me?
The band in question is Queen and I am a HUGE fan of Queen, I have wanted to go and see them in concert since 2010, when I was 14.
Last year, around my birthday we, my Mother and I, found out that they were going to be coming to Australia. I was absoloutly ecstatic... until I saw the ticket price. It was a couple hundred dollars out of my price range.
At the time I was out of work, I was trying to get work, so I couldn't afford the tickets. Mum decided that she would buy tickets for us, if I have her half of the ticket price. I was working part-time and only earning about 25 a day.
Then Mum decided that she was going to change it, she would buy the tickets, I don't need to worry about it anymore, she will give them to me on my Birthday. Okay cool.
Finally my Birthday rolls around, I get my gift from Mum and open and it is three tickets... to a AFL game. Don't get me wrong, I love my Aussie Rules, but that wasn't what I was expecting for my Birthday.
Mum changed her plans, said it would be my Christmas present and we would go to the Concert in Queensland. Alright.
The reason for this was that Mum was moving in with her partner and his family. Completely fucked me over and caused me to have a slight mental breakdown from stress from trying to find a permanent job and a place to live. For about 2 months, it was looking like I was going to be homeless.
Anyway, Mum moves up there and I stay down here.
Christmas arrives and Mums gift arrives... It was again not what I wanted, it was Membership to my favourite AFL club for next year.
I called Mum later that day to find out what happened.
"Oh, I changed my mind and bought tickets for partners name and his three girls as well as myself."
I was planning to go up there a few times to visit, but after all of this, I've decided that I don't want to go up there anytime soon. I thought I could buy tickets to the local concert, but they are all sold out. Opportunity missed and knowing my luck, forever.
I am pissed about this. In the 14-15 months that she has been with her partner, my life has steadily gone downhill. She has blown me off multiple times and changed plans. She even got shitty at me once because I drank all of the Coke(that I bought!) when he had, unknowingly to me, been drinking it with his alcohol.
So, WIBTA if I tell my Mother that I don't want to visit her anytime soon?
submitted by AussieOz96
to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
2020.01.08 04:34 Torn_leaf Professor Marston!
So. Poly partners here, myself (M31) and my live in partner and fiance (F27) out of Euge OR and just curious if anyone else in the poly community absoloutly love the Marston and wonder woman movie. I myself (M) have been poly for many years but my partner opened up about a good year and a half ago because we watched this film and it has since become our mantra movie/secret goal in life!
She knew i was poly when we started dating about five years ago, but out of respect for her being monogamous i kind of took a break from my lifestyle for a number of years because i wss truly entranced with being the best possible partner i could for her and didnt want to shove her away or scare her off. Anyway, ffwd a couple years and we watched this film on a whim and having no idea what it was actually about. If you havent seen it, i recommend it because its pretty much the only love story we freaking poly folks truly get lol.
By the end of it we were both sobbing and holding one another and she looked at me and said the most beautiful words i ever heard: "...i get it, i understand now. It isnt about _______, its about you being who you are...and this is how you love and are loved". Anyway, she felt something was missing...or lulled since we had been together and she realized it was because we werent loving to our fullest. Since then, we have decided to start dating and looking for our "throuple". Its been an amazing (but slow) experience and i'm just curious if its similar to anyone else's out there. Did this film or perhaps some other circumstance suddenly cause things to dawn on you and your partner(s) and totally change your lives together? I wanna know!!!
P.s. cheers and nothing but love 😊🤙🏼
P.p.s: its nearly impossible to get me to shed a tear (being a strong, silent native american type) so when she saw this movie illicit such a response it made a jarring impact.
submitted by Torn_leaf
to polyamory [link] [comments]
2019.12.24 22:27 Blender_Beaver Are the EoT/EoD Starters Balanced?
I hav been playing EoT and I did the personality quiz thingy without a guide or anything and my player character ended up being Skitty.(My partner is a Mudkip) I am at Temporal Tower, and I have noticed that all of the rock and steel types in this area (and many of the areas before) are an absoloute pain to kill. I assume this is because I have Normalize. How is Skitty balanced without access to ANY coverage moves? Is there something that I am missing?
btw, my moveset is Tackle+2, Double-Edge, Thunderbolt and Wide Slash
submitted by Blender_Beaver
to MysteryDungeon [link] [comments]
2019.12.20 10:52 thatlegendsguy what is the best way to get the expansions for this game? (Uk)
so recently me and my partner picked up some boards at GAME in the uk for £5 each so that we could play, and we absoloutely enthralled by this game. our local game group love it and we really want to get more of the expansions but we have no idea where to start. we know the game is technicaly over now, but its hard to find a list of "what should we collect?" and where to buy or get them from. any advice would be a huge help.
also - we are wondering if it is worth buying multiple of packs so we can both have coppies of the cards we want to use in decks, or is there no point in that (its a fun game not a meta game?)
all the best mixing!
submitted by thatlegendsguy
to dropmix [link] [comments]
2019.10.02 18:14 Bobobratius How dare you save my dog.
Tldr at the end
Obligatory apologies for the grammatical errors, English is my only language but I just suck at it. This happened today about 6 hours ago.
A bit of back story. I have two chihuahuas one of which is a rescue and is extremely dog aggressive. He has been very poorly for three days and is loosing blood through his urine. Vets up to today still didn't know what was causing it.
Well today he took a turn for the worst and my vets invited us to come in even though they close to the public during certain daytime hours where all the vets are in surgery. We normally wait in the car due to my dogs aggression but as they were closed to the general public we sat in the waiting room for a change.
The vet was held up in surgery and without us keeping an eye on the time the surgery hours had started again. I didn't notice a dog entering the building until my dog started trying to attack the dog at the door. Within seconds I was up and went to exit as he is very loud and he is a bite risk to anyone around when he looses it. As I went to exit the other dog slipped his collar and immediately started running toward to main road which is only 100 foot away.
Without thinking and with my dog still in my arms I sprinted straight out into the traffic without looking before the dog made it to the road. I didn't think about my own safety, or even my own dogs safety all I thought in that moment was that cars will see me but they won't see a dog. Good news is I successfully managed to stay alive (god knows how) the cars screeched to a halt and I ushered the dog back towards to car park.
This whole situation had taken about 15 seconds to unfold. As I start to tune back into my surroundings I quickly realised the owner is completely enraged and is screaming profanities at me. Everything from "you stupid bitch" to "you nearly killed my dog".
At this point the vet techs have managed to run outside whilst witnessing the whole scenario unfold through the glass wall in reception. The owner then proceeds to continue shouting about how stupid I am, how it is my fault her dog got off and calling me every name under the sun. One of the cars that had been stopped by myself beeped and shouted "well done lass" out the window at me and to be honest I'm bloody grateful he did because at that point i felt like a terrible person.
The seriousness of the situation I put myself in dawns on me during this confrontation and I started shaking and eventually crying whilst begging this woman to stop shouting at me. My partner took over and was telling the woman to pack it in, stating I very clearly saved her dogs life and it is her own fault her dogs collar was so loose. At this point people have tried to help her put the dogs collar back on but she screamed at them also. She has been shouting now for a solid 5 minutes.
The vet comes outside and I go in to discuss my dog. Whilst my incredible vet takes my dog out of the room for a couple of tests one of the vet techs pops her head in and asked if I was okay. She assured me that I did absoloutely nothing wrong and she thanked me for what I did. We ended up having to leave through the back door to ensure there was no further trouble. The whole scenario has left me completely puzzled!
Tl:Dr a dog slipped its collar close to a main road, I ran out in front of the dog, without looking, into two lanes of traffic to stop all the cars. The owner dispises me for it and I end up having to leave my vets surgery like some c rate celebrity.
submitted by Bobobratius
to EntitledPeople [link] [comments]
2019.09.12 23:21 fedairkid A tale of camping and treachery. Let's share some stories.
Every now and then a bounty hunt -successful or not- stands out. Be it because of a particularly brutal battle, that one-in-a-million Sparks shot, or maybe you got placed on an empty server and get to enjoy all of the experience and bounty without the threat of other hunters. I would like to hear about particularly interesting rounds other people have played, and will start with one my friends and I just had.
It started out simple enough, spawn at Hemlock, collect clues for the assassin, find it at windy run. Butcher started banishing at fort Camrick after we heard quite a few shots from over there. More than likely two teams fought there and the victor finished off the butcher. We had our eyes set on our target. We cautiously entered the compound, an expired clue and the probability of a team spawning at windy made us suspect that another team of hunters was already here, which a concertina trip mine confirmed shortly after. We bunkered down in the small barn next to the boss lair. After a short while though, one of my companions decided to head towards the lair via the rooftop....to get gunned down from within the lair. And although he managed to give the hostile hunter a taste of his explosive crossbow, my friend met his demise. To make matters worse, his body was quickly covered in razor wire. So, my remaining ally and me did a quick recap:
-The enemy team had indeed spawned very near to the boss and quickly took it down. However, instead of starting thebanishment, they have been waiting for human victims these last 15 minutes.
-Reviving our fallen friend was not an option until the enemy was dead.
So, the conclusion was simple; We had to take out any hostiles in the area. A difficult task to be sure, but by no means insurmountable. We decided to head out of our little barn and sneak to the back of the lair. As we headed out, the butcher finished banishing, the tokens though were left laying around. Something we should have probably taken note of, but by now we were busy with our own engagement. A shot from my Augusta met the temple of an enemy sitting in a window above, but with no means to prevent a revive and a desperate need for us to continue moving and find some cover, death was short lasting. After a bit of back and forth between us and the enemies, we started to get shot at from behind. The team that did the butcher in was here! My partner and me scrambled to find some cover that would protect us from both teams, which meant hugging the back wall of the boss lair.
The ensuing fight was long and exhilerating to play, but not particularly interesting to read about, so I will spare you the details. There was a lot of gunfire with the occassional deathscream, but since everyone was behind cover, any victims were quickly back with the living, and because of our less-than-ideal position, my friend and me couldn't do much but exchange potshots to scare off anyone trying to rush us. I did manage to get a wallbang kill on one of the hunters inside the barn, but that was more luck than skill. A few minutes pass, and as our ammunition dwindles, the butcher killers got closer and closer to us. If they managed to get a good sightline on us, we were done for. To top it all off, somewhere along the lines an enemy decided that razor wire wasn't quite enough and burned out our fallen friend.
With only a weak vitality shot and so few shots for our rifles that we could count our combined stocks on two hands left, we knew this fight was lost. So, we decided to run. But not just anywhere, we didn't enter the lawson delta to leave with nothing! Our target was Fort Camrick. Get those two butcher tokens and extract at the other side of the map while our enemies battle it out for the Assassin tokens.
We did manage to reach Fort Camrick and pick up the Tokens, but noticed that we were surrounded once we did. The team that originally killed the butcher followed us back. Seems like they didn't want us having their reward. Now, while we did scavenge some ammunition on the way here, neither me nor my friend were in fighting condition. One of the enemies had taken to the rooftop, one was locking down the doors and the third was bombarding us with Sparks shots.
There was no way we could make it out of here. Not with firepower, anyway. Luckily, the Hunter locking us down from above was in talking distance, so I offered a trade. We would give up the bounty tokens, they wouldn't have to risk loosing one of their hunters to our hail mary. They accepted. Did I have high hopes that they would stick to it? No, but we were out of options. So, fusee in hand, I climbed up on the roof to meet with the enemy. Soon after, his two allies joined us, as did my friend. It all went well, I got killed, they picked up the token, my friend revived me. Now we just needed to repeat that and give them back the second token. For a moment, I thought they would stick to their words, that maybe my friend and I could leave, not unscathed, but alive. A thought that was lost as a bullet to my brain sent me to the afterlife for good.
And that was my story. I left out quite a few details in hopes of making interesting to read instead of stale. I also apologize for any mistakes, english isn't my first language and I didn't exactly spell-check.
Now, I am absoloutely certain that a lot of you have had much more interesting things happen to you during a match, and I would like to hear about them. Be it an entire match that stood out for one reason or another, or just any standout snippets.
Let's share some stories ^^
submitted by fedairkid
to HuntShowdown [link] [comments]
2019.08.31 19:11 redditthrowaway931 25f with no libido when I'm in a relationship
Much like the title says, I have absoloutely no libido when I'm in a relationship and it's seriously affecting my life and (obviously) my partners. HELP!
I'll try to mention (what I believe to be) the most relevant info and if anyone has any advice, shared experience, ANYTHING, I would be incredibly greatful:
- I have been sexually active since 14
- I have had 3 serious relationships (all over 3 years)
- whenever I am not in a relationship I have an incredibly high libido.
- when I am not in a relationship I have experienced various "performance" issue (I cannot orgasm, even by myself)
- For the first year of a relationship I have a "normal" libido but, after that, it steadily drops to 0 (no masturbation or anything)
- I have brought it up at the doctors on 4 separate occasions but it's been outright ignored all 4 times.
submitted by redditthrowaway931
to sex [link] [comments]
2019.08.30 03:36 dani2993 Is it possible to have an innacurate chrome search history?
So basically a few days ago my partner and i got into a heated discussion about porn again. It's become quite an issue but we are hopefully almost past it, it's so hard to live with this level of anxiety. He's made promises to cut back/somewhat stop hopefully very soon, and to be honest with me about it when it happens. It makes me annoyed at myself that this is how it has to be, but after dealing with my PA ex for so long its just too hard for me to accept porn in a serious relationship, and I don't apologise for it, it just seems wrong to me. The argument began when he told me he didn't but I sensed he was lying. I'm not proud of this, but I told him to prove it and he went to find his search history. He went into it a way that I'm unfamiliar with, and when he couldn't figure it out i immedietly got more suss. I then took his phone and went on the history like a normal person, he then seemed completely shocked when there was porn on there, and it was sites he regularly uses so couldnt be spam or anything.. But he swore to me black and blue he has no idea how it got there, he even cried and I've never seen him do that.. But my head can't stop racing around over this. Did he lie through his teeth to save the relationship? And did he cry because he got caught out and knew i could react very badly to finding out he lied to me? Or is it actually possible to have a search history bringing up things from over a week ago? I really want to believe what he tells me. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone and everything else about him ticks all the boxes and then some. He's absoloutely perfect for me. I never wanted a man, but now the idea of losing him kills me. I would've been upset if he told me but i would've dealt with it quite okay. Instead i have this feeling that wont go away. I feel stupid asking, but could it be possible that it was innacurate information?
TL;DR: boyfie says he's been a good boy, history says nah he hasn't, is it possible he could be telling the truth?
UPDATE: thank you to those who commented, it gave me the courage to stand my ground and get the real truth. He said that the heat of the moment caused him to lie somehow. I made it clear that I'm not tolerating that kind of head fuck ever again. He's now well aware that if he lies it could be catastrophic for us. In the meantime I'm going to try to look past this and just trust that he wants us to work out as much as i do.
submitted by dani2993
to loveafterporn [link] [comments]
2018.06.05 01:15 LieV2 This many people forgot we had group Slayer
Could it do with some updates? Slayer is a skill we constantly update, so to throw some inginuty at it and try come up with fun game play ideas is not game breaking. It's the reason Artisan got so far on the potential OSRS Exclusive skill poll way back in 2014/15 (?). We were applying Slayer mechanics of tasks and all the fun people seem to have with it, to skilling, to break up a mundane task and offer variety while inkeeping with efficiency and not wasting anyones time. I think having the rewards catering to the efficiency part of the skill is what was it's ultimate downfall as it was not exciting. Nor was it very Old School.
Getting back to the point I believe when people originally asked for Group Slayer they wanted it to feel like it was with a friend or with a group. As it stands it's just solo slayer
Both players have to be able to be assigned the task. Blocks are ignored.
You can skip the task with 30 points. You will only skip it for you personally.
If you share a kill, the exp drop is awarded randomly.
The kill's left counter goes down mutually.
No points are awarded.
This leaves the only channel open to abuse: a 126 partnering with a level 3 to recieve only noob tasks. And I don't think we collectively as a community care about the combat level requirement for tasks, as we've since voted to let us talk to an NPC to toggle higher cmb monsters.
Not all updates can completely secure 100% of prior methods and build paths. That prevents progress and future build paths.
As it stands. Group Slayer is; "IF you roll a task your partner has blocked, one of you will get the task. IF you have different Slayer and combat requirements, one of you may miss the task". It's also got no inherent benefit.
The absoloute major benefit of Group Slayer like this, would be to boost your task count enabling you to cash out on those 10th and 50th task bonuses quicker. RATHER than the current best method of boosting points to use the shit tier Slayer Master for 9 easy tasks, and then your best for the 10th.
submitted by LieV2
to 2007scape [link] [comments]
2018.03.30 20:10 RedditZurah Just want to write a bit...
I'm feeling worse and worse since the past few weeks, and that holidays just started don't make things better.
First off, I feel very lonely. It's not like I don't have any "friends", but they just don't really care. They never talk to me when I don't do so, they don't ask me how I am when they can clearly see that I'm not feeling very well, they just don't care about me and only talk to me when they need me. Also, I'm more or less in love, more or less because I stopped feeling any emotions, but since I loved her before that happened and also because the only time when I can smile is when she is smiling, so It's kinda obvious for me that I love her. But then on the other hand I know that it's a waste of time of me to love her, because 1. she doesn't love me (although we kinda talk alot at school) and 2. because we just don't fit together well. But that's making me sad - not because we don't fit together but rather because I know that no girl/boy (I'm bisexual) will ever fit to me because well, I don't understand how someone can love me if I can't even love myself, and also because I'm living an extremely isolated life. I only go out for school, and the rest of the day I'm in my room. Since I have holidays now, I kinda kept track on how long I spend where, and found out that I spend over 23hrs a day only in my room, and the rest of the time I'm in the kitchen to eat something. Going out is not an option, 1. because my parents don't really let me go out (which in itself is kinda stupid because I turn 16 in a few months lol) and also just because I don't know what to do or rather I just don't have motivation to do anything. Also, when I'm on the topic of motivation, depression made me lose any motivation to do things I used to like. I used to play a lot of video games, but it's not fun anymore at all. I used to watch Anime a lot, but it just got depressing because of seeing couples (in real life but also in Anime) has gotten quite depressing because I know I'll never get a partner. So my life is actually totally boring at the moment, that's also why I hate holidays so much, since I have literally nothing to do. I also noticed that even when I'm in school, I stopped talking to people at all, like for example if noone would talk to me first, then I'd probably spend all school day saying nothing. I don't really know why that is so but I just don't care anymore. Deep inside I know that I'm basically ruining my life right now, but as said, I don't care. I don't see a meaning in life anymore, as it's just torturing me everyday. Sorry for this absoloutely unsorted and random post, I just wanted to write some things. I also don't expect anyone answering on this since I didn't really ask a question, but feel free to write a comment.
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2017.03.20 03:31 wowineedsomeadvice having a few issues [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] of 3 months, my 1st serious relationship so need some advice
Met this girl 3 months ago, seeing eachother and hooking up literally from the night we met (through a mutual friend's birthday) and then started seriously dating about 6 weeks after that. She is the most amazing girl 95% of the time. I know everyone probably says that but she is absoloutely drop dead gorgeous, so lovely to be around, smart, all my friends love her etc. etc. etc.
I'm really having trouble dealing with a few things though. I've avoided getting into relationships my entire life and just always kept things casual, probably because I've seen the heartbreak and drama caused by some of my friends relationships. That changed when I met this girl, but I don't really have the relationship experience to deal with some of the stuff that I guess is relatively normal for relationships.
Firstly, she has major trust issues. She's been cheated on before, and any time I like a female friends instagram or facebook pic, unless she's met them before and is 100% sure there is nothing between us, she will get super passive agressive about it until it reaches boiling point. Also she goes through my fb messages (not that I have anything to hide, but jesus christ that is so disrespectful) if I leave my phone lying around, then lies about it when I know that she has.
She also has anxiety issues. Everything has been GREAT for the past 2 weeks, like probably the best period of our relationship, spending so much time together and meeting more of eachothers friends and having really fun nights out together etc. She stayed over last night, hung out with my roommates, fun casual night, leaves for work this morning, and I see some pretty negative stuff on her snapchat story so I message her asking her what's up. 'I hate being me, I want to kill myself, I'm so sick of everything I work so hard to be a good person and I hate it etc. etc.' Like I just don't know what to do. Madly in love with her, never felt this way about anyone, and I know she'll probably be fine in a few days. But it just makes me feel physically sick when stuff like this happens every few weeks and I just don't know what i can do to help.
Bit of an all over the place rant of a post, but I just don't know how to handle this, and I hate feeling helpless and like pure shit every few weeks when her anxiety reaches boiling point. Any advice from someone who has anxiety or has been in a relationship with someone who has would be super appreciated.
tl;dr: How to deal with your partners anxiety/trust issues?
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2017.02.19 12:19 thisisISthis [23/f] Crossroads with [26/m]
Hi! 23/F here, mum of 2 boys.
So last night I had a get together with some old friends, from my teenage years, one in particular I had a very will-they-get-together relationship with and me and this guy were best friends but something always got in the way of us getting together and he ended up moving away for work, he got with someone, I got with someone and our friendship faded.
I end up getting pregnant and had my first at 19, he ended up having a baby girl too with his ex, we still followed eachother on social media etc but our relationship wasn't the same obviously.
Now he is with someone new and they are moving abroad together and getting married, so we decided to have one last get together(the group of old friends), like a final farewell, my kids went away for the night with my partner.
I didn't think it would be but saying goodbye to all my friends, after years and years of not seeing them, it was emotional, i feel like I am closing a chapter and it is weird seeing us all going our separate ways-for good.
but it made me think about my current relationship, I know overtime the spark fades, feelings become less intense but damn I just miss it so much the thrill, the excitment, feeling attractive etc
My OH has the lowest libido ever, so we have sex like once a month if I am lucky, I am a sahm and he works, and of course I know I am blessed to be in this position and I love it but it is so mundane, I don't drive so I am stuck inside on these rainy wintery days and my OH just doesn't look at me the same, he doesn't have that same attraction to me he once had and at 23 I feel like I am past it!! He swears he is attracted to me, he just lost his libido and has been depressed because of his works hours,he is older now etc which of course I understand but what about me? When do my feelings come into things? When we first got together he was super clingy and now he is super distant, now I don't want him to be clingy but SOME interest or SOME attention would be nice..like genuine attention, not just spending time with me because he feels like he has to tick it off his list, yano?
I love my kids and my partner so much but this has brought back so many emotions, the fact that very easily I could have been that person moving abroad right now and the fact that I lust for adventure, excitment, new faces and new experiences but instead I am stuck in a town I don't want to be in, lonely, bored, feeling unattractive.
Is this normal? Is this the 7-year-itch or whatever? What can I do? Me and my partner did have a great talk yesterday morning and we opened up to eachother alot about things so I am hoping something improves from that but IDK...
If I didn't have children I would not be in this relationship anymore, I would have moved away and ended it, I feel like I am on a crossroads, on one hand I LOVE my partner and obviously do not want to throw away my family!!! but on the otherhand I am absoloutely TERRIFIED that nothing will ever change and I will be stuck in this limbo forever, I feel like I am on a crossroads and no matter what I do it is going to be shitty!!
Can anyone help me? give me advice?
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2015.05.30 13:58 Gosset [Rant] So, I'm going to be Dad for the first time and people can be dicks.
First time poster so please be gentle fellow bumpers! And forgive me swearing and non-coherant post. Baby brained and frustrated.
So yeah, came out as Female to Male last year, well along the process to getting hormone therapy and getting therapy and what not and then was suddenly horrificly ill in march. Surprise! Turns out partner and I were expecting our first. I didn't know how to react at all at first (probably because I'd spent a week vomiting 7+ times a day, kind of killed my ability to feel any yay!).
Me and So seriously considered whether we were ready or not yet because of my situation and we're both young. But decided we'd been together five years and after being convinced we wern't going to be able to have a baby this sprog was a miracle.
Eventually announced to close friends and family only. Explicity stating were not announcing yet and that we're a bit superstitious. (We were a bit off about announcing anything until 2nd scan, which is this wednesday but decided we'd like the people close to us to know).
So first problem arrived quickly, when people instantly reverted back to 'she' instead of 'he' for me. Frustrating but urgh I'll correct them and deal with it because pregnant dude can be confusing. I get it.
This was followed by scores of off the cuff comments along the lines of how the pregancy would 'fix' me being transgender.
Well, fucking no. That's not how it works and considering pregnancy has been difficult with me dealing with major body issues and being constantly reminded I'm female sex wise these comments seriously hurt and have pissed me off like nothing else.
This has been followed by a 'friend' announcing our news!! I lost my shit. We told him he wasn't to share the news and he just blabs to a whole load of people. Even if we were sharing it's my and my partners news!
Partners already frothing with the guy in question because he's decided to get weirdly paternal and give us advice on how we should be raising our kid, to be 'good' parents. This includes taking him from the moment he was born to re-enactment events.
Surrounding a young infant with swords. Sure! Why the fuck not.
All in all, me and SO are desperately trying to sort out our home when we have two lazy room mates, and that's stressful enough without having to worry about the rest of the idiots.
Just glad no ones made a lunge for the bump yet. I think I'll break fingers if it ever happens to me.
Then we have a mix of very supportive family members and family members that are just beyond idiotic but think there being supportive. I've been given so much advice to 'ignore' my midwife and doctor and have my birth/pregnancy go the way these family members want it to go. It makes me so angry. I'm just getting to grips with handling pregnancy but don't think I could deal with actual birth so have requested a cesearian. Apparently this is a horrible idea because it's unnatural!
I love my SO though, in response to everything recently and my most recent grumble of people dictating how I should be giving birth he shrugged and said "Look what happened in McBeth. You're going to be have a supernatural baby, twice not born of man. So fuck 'em" I love that this was his response, even if it was a bit out of the blue, it made me feel so much better for sticking to my principles despite wanting to chew the heads of everyone around me.
UPDATE: Left my computer alone for hours to help SO with cleaning and holy crap!!!
I honestly cannot say thank you enough to all of you for the outpouring of kind words and awesomeness. From both me and my SO thank you!
Thank so much fellow bumpers for making my day! You're all absoloutly awesome and big congrats and thanks to all future mums/dads.
Thanks for listening. Sorry for incoherant ranting. Hopefully people will get over themselves soon.
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2013.09.27 13:37 rblack200 PCR help ?
so yesterday i carried out a pcr reaction on Thimet oligopeptidase using a thermal cycler.
i done absoloutely everything by the book, fresh pipette tips everytime i used one, some of the best lab practice ive ever done, nothing swaying from guidlines.
after 4 hours i tested it in an agarose gel electropheresis (1%) with midori green stain. after an hour of testing i got my uv photo of the finished gel to find absolutely no results in the electropheresis
it wasnt anything to do with the gel as my lab partners PCR worked and showed the most vivid electropheresis result i've seen ?
anyone got any ideas ? photo will be in comments
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2012.10.18 19:30 RaineRisin Ladies, what do you think?
So I know that everyone moves at their own pace, but I have a few questions about averages. You can answer for homo- or heterosexual couples, I'm just curious all around!
The first stage - we all know the lovey dovey stage that happens at the beginning of every relationship. Everything's perfect for a while. You can't stay away from each other. How long do you think this lasts, on average? A few weeks, a couple of months?
The first fight - how long until this happens? Is it a big blow out, or over something small and stupid?
Is it healthy to talk about the "if we don't work out"s?
How open and comfortable are you with your partner? Can you tell/ask them absoloutely anything? If not, why can't/won't you?
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Absolute Partners, Inc. Absolute Partners Inc.